Imagine that it's Wednesday, November 5, the day after the U.S. presidential election. We're back in front of the nice home in the nice neighborhood. The same two men in dark suits knock on the same nice front door.
Men: Hello, we're from the government. We're here to help. Again.
Taxpayer: I remember you guys... That's what you said last time!!
Men: Yes sir.
Taxpayer: What do you mean, "Yes sir"?!! That was when you robbed me!!
Men: I mean, Yes sir, and we're back for more. Cash, check or credit card will be fine.
Taxpayer: But the first time just happened! Nobody can collect and spend $700 BILLION in five lousy weeks!!!
Men: Care to make a bet about that?
Taxpayer (Red-faced, shouting): What...NO! All gone? $700 billion? Dude, exactly how the (multiple explicatives deleted) ...
Men: Sir! Please, sir. Please take a breath... Okay. Now, think of it this way: We're getting an early start on the inevitable. I mean, look at AIG. That one company alone burned through its $123 billion bailout in less than a month. How far do you think $700 billion really goes? Lots of banks took the bailout money and started buying other banks, giving severance pay, big bonuses, and stuff like that. Heck, the New York branch of the Fed just hired the guy who had been the "Chief Risk Officer" at Bear Stearns. If you were us you'd get an early start too.
Taxpayer: Big bonuses? Weren't they supposed to lend that money out to help the economy?
Men: (Wildly amused, the men glance at one another and hold their mouths closed to suppress giggling. One nearly chokes and breaks into horse laughter): Sir, sir, you're killing us, please stop...
Taxpayer: Oh, right, some joke. Look, I'll have you know that I voted yesterday and my guy won. He said I'd get a tax cut.
Men: Nice try sir, but please. No more joking around. It's true that our first visit was only a few weeks ago, so I'm only going to say this once: We're here to rob you. It's for your own good.
Taxpayer: But I voted! My guy won!!
Men: He's not "your guy," sir. It's more like you're "his taxpayer." So let's get this over with. And you do have a choice -- will it be cash, check or credit card?
Just because it's satire doesn't mean it's not true. Think the election will change the risks you face? Late this afternoon (Nov. 3), the Treasury Department reported that it will borrow $550 billion MORE in Q4 of 2008, "to stabilize the financial sector."